Trading Taught Me Who I Am
I started trading on June 1st, 2020.
Like many beginners, I jumped into the world of low float stocks, waking up at ungodly hours to catch the pre-market moves and chase that morning volatility like it was the last train out of town. And even though I wasn’t making thousands, I instantly loved it. There was something electric about it—the fast pace, the strategy, the unknown. I loved the challenge. It reminded me of golf: deceptively simple, but deeply technical. You don’t just swing and hope—you learn to read the terrain, master your form, and stay mentally steady even after a bad shot. Trading was like that. It demanded skill, discipline, and a mindset that could weather the ups and downs. And I was hooked.
Then life—real life—stepped in.
In 2022, I got pregnant with my daughter. Trading at the crack of dawn while waddling into third trimester? Not exactly sustainable. So I took a break.
When I came back, the world (and my schedule) had shifted. Gone were the early mornings at the desk. Now, I trade at night. I’ve transitioned to Forex and currently dance with Gold during the quiet hum of the Asia Session while my little one sleeps.
And I’m not “there” yet.
Not the success stories you see in ads. Not the screenshot flexes on social media. Not sipping espresso in Bali with a MacBook and no worries.
But I’ve learned more than I ever thought I would.
And I’m not stopping.
Trading, It Turns Out, Is a Mirror
It’s easy to think success in trading is just about a strategy, a chart setup, or a killer entry.
But I’ve come to learn something much deeper.
Success in trading is really about you.
Not just what you know—but who you are.
You want to win? Learn your patterns—not just on the charts, but in your mind. Your personality. Your triggers. Your beliefs about money. Your beliefs about yourself. Your reasons why.
Because they will show up. All of them. Eventually.
I’ve seen mine show up loud and proud:
- Overconfidence.
- Impatience.
- Taking on way too much risk.
- Wanting success so badly I started sabotaging myself.
I’ve tried to rush it. Tried to skip the “becoming” part and fast-track my way to success.
But every shortcut turned into a detour. Every forced trade turned into a lesson I didn’t ask for.
The Real Secret? Detachment.
This is the part they don’t tell you in the YouTube videos.
Detach from the outcome.
I know—it sounds counterintuitive. Because let’s be honest: we’re trading because we want more. More freedom, more time, more opportunities, a better life for ourselves and the people we love. We want this to work. We need it to work.
But here’s the thing: when you’re gripping too tightly to the outcome—obsessing over making it fast, hitting a certain number, proving something—it clouds everything. That pressure? It leaks into your trades. Suddenly, you’re not following your rules, you’re reacting. You’re not trading a setup, you’re chasing a feeling.
When I finally loosened my grip on the idea of “making it fast,” something surprising happened—I actually started making better decisions.
Patience felt easier. Following my plan felt more natural. The emotions? Still there—but I could hold them without being swept away.
If you’re in this only for the money, let me save you some time: you’ve already lost.
Because the moment your “why” becomes a dollar amount, your rules become optional. Your discipline disappears. Risk management gets ghosted. And at that point, you’re no longer a trader—you’re a gambler with a screen and a dream.
The truth?
The money is a byproduct.
The real win is the process—the strategy, the structure, the self-awareness. It’s about becoming the kind of person who can handle the success when it finally comes.
Detaching doesn’t mean not caring.
It means you start caring about the right things: your growth, your patience, your ability to stay centered in chaos. Because those are the things that actually get you where you want to go.
And ironically, when you stop obsessing over the outcome, that’s when it finally starts showing up.
I’m Not That Trader. I’m This One.
It’s easy to compare.
To the 20-something with no responsibilities and a 12-monitor setup.
To the guy in the Lambo with a Rolex and a Rari-colored trading course.
To the finance grad with a team of analysts and a trust fund backup plan.
But I’m not any of them.
I’m a 42-year-old woman. A mother to a beautiful two-year-old. I work full time. My husband and I are doing everything we can to create a better life for our family.
My journey doesn’t look like theirs—and it’s not supposed to.
Because I’m building something real for me. Something sustainable. Something rooted in my reality, my responsibilities, and my dreams. Something that honors who I am, not just what’s trending in the trading world.
And there’s room for all of us.
I have to trade in a way that feels right. That works with my rhythm. My capacity. My truth.
And if you’re reading this, maybe you do too.
So Here’s What I Know
- You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up.
- You don’t need to copy someone else’s path. You need to carve your own.
- You don’t need overnight success. You need day-by-day courage.
Trading isn’t just about making money.
It’s about becoming the kind of person who can handle it when it comes.
And if you ask me, that’s the real magic.
So whether you’re deep in drawdown or riding a winning streak—breathe. Reflect. And keep going.
Because every chart, every loss, every moment you don’t give up…
is shaping the trader—and the human—you were always meant to be.